Implausible Infatuation
by Hannah-Kiwii
Summary: Hermione decided to give Cormac just one last chance...Sequel to Someone Different. CormacxHermione.
1. Prolouge

This story is a sequel, but it is not wholly necessary to read the prequel, "Someone Different", to understand it.

**Author's notes**: For those who read my first Cormac/Hermione story, you've probably been waiting a long time for the promised sequel to actually come into existence. I promised it only because I had every intention of delivering it: and this prologue is the proof.

This story has gone through many drafts, most of which are hidden in old school books. It's gone through many a writer's block.

It was, probably quite obviously, the release of the HBP movie that has motivated me to write more. I loved the movie, had a great flood of reviews on "Someone Different" and finally, had to listen to my friends insult Cormac!

So, it is that lovely combination of things that you have to thank for me finally getting off my backside and doing some writing.  
I hope you all enjoy this!  
Hannah

**Implausible infatuation**

**Prologue**

Hermione glanced at her watch for the thousandth time.

Harry noticed…again. He couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something wrong with her. "Hermione," he began, "are you alri-"

"I'm going to the library," she said abruptly, standing up.

"Oh," said Harry dumbly. "Well…I'll come with you then."

"No, I want peace, I need to research for my Ancient Runes' essay," she discouraged frantically.

"Okay then," Harry replied warily. "Just…be careful."  
Hermione stared at him in disbelief for a moment, and then laughed. "I'm not going to get attacked in the library, Harry. I'll be fine. See you later." And with that she hurried out of the room.

Harry decided not to ponder why Hermione was acting so oddly, and instead reached into his bag to surreptitiously pull the Marauder's Map. He didn't understand girls, and he found Hermione more complex than most, so he'd rather set his mind to a mystery he thought within his grasp: the mystery of Draco Malfoy.

"Harry, there you are," called Ron's voice. Harry took his hand out of the bag, leaving the map where it was. Neither Ron nor Hermione liked Harry's obsession with Malfoy's supposed sinister plans. "I've been looking for you all over, mate."  
"Where's Lavender?" asked Harry by way of conversation. Sometimes, asking that would make Ron get up and go search for his girlfriend. Secretly, Harry half hoped it would this time.

"With Parvati in the library, I think. I tell you, Harry, girls are a nightmare. Speaking of which, where's Hermione?"

"Where Hermione always is," said Harry simply.  
"Is she still mad at me?"  
"I think so. More upset than mad."

"Well good!" Ron said, raising his voice a little. "It serves her right, for thinking she knows what I should do."

"She's been acting oddly," continued Harry offhandedly, unwilling to enter the conflict but somewhat sick of Ron's insensitive attitude towards Hermione.

"She's always acting oddly." Ron calmed down a little, and relaxed into his chair. "She'll get over it. She's got McLaggen anyway."

Harry smiled grimly. "They've not spoken since before Christmas. I think he tried to kiss her."

Unexpectedly, Ron fumed. "He did WHAT?"

"Tried to kiss her," Harry repeated. "They've not spoken since."

Ron relaxed again, taking deep breaths. "Well, that's good. As long as she's not going to let him near her again then…good…that's good…" Ron subsided into a nonsense muttering, and picked up a book to hide behind.

Harry could see his ears; they were red.

Turning back to his homework Harry couldn't help but agree. It didn't really matter what McLaggen had tried to do, as long as Hermione kept a safe distance from him from now on. Hermione was smart, and brave, and Harry was sure she'd learnt her lesson about trying to make Ron jealous.

She'd stay safely away from boys like Cormac McLaggen, he was sure.

Hermione didn't go to the library.

Hermione didn't spend any great deal of time alone.

Hermione met Cormac McLaggen just outside the common room, and the two of them headed towards the entrance hall together. It was a clear spring day and Cormac had suggested sometime in the early hours of the morning, before breakfast was served, that the two of them should make the most of the sunshine while it lasted.

McLaggen was a Quidditch player who was known for being not quite good enough to make the team. He was known to be arrogant and something of a ladies' man, and the company he kept had proved to be the same, even more so than him.

But recently, a revelation had changed Cormac and his ways completely.

Blonde haired, big chested, makeup laden airheads just didn't do it for Cormac McLaggen these days. Pretty trophy girls just weren't good enough for him any more. No, recently, he'd had his eyes set on one girl, and one girl only, and she was quite unlike all his previous girlfriends.

And somehow, miraculously, she'd actually decided to give him a chance.

So here he was, not one month on, walking down the corridor hand in hand with Hermione Granger. He cradled her hand in his gently, allowing every chance for her to pull away, and revelling in every moment that she didn't.

Cormac and Hermione had been almost dating for several weeks now. Cormac wouldn't tell himself they were dating, because strictly speaking, they weren't.

No one knew that they were a couple, and they hadn't really been anywhere, except to the library and around the lake, and once or twice they'd sat in the common room early in the morning, when it was devoid of anyone else. They didn't do anything Cormac had previously associated with dating either, like kissing. They just talked.

In fact, the only indication there was that there was anything more than friendship between them was that they often held hands, but only when nobody was nearby.

"How are things going in your lessons?" Cormac asked by way of conversation.

"The same as normal," Hermione said, and Cormac convinced himself that he imagined the bitterness in her tone: that meant full marks for Hermione.

"So all that intense studying at Christmas worked wonders in keeping your grades…exactly where they were," he drawled.

She glared at him.

"I'm just teasing, Hermione." He smiles at her broadly. "I know it's not possible to do better than being top in everything."

Hermione frowned. "Almost everything," she corrected. "Harry is still beating me in potions."

Cormac, thinking of the most none intrusive method of affection he could, reached across and ruffled Hermione's constantly unruly hair. "Don't worry," he reassured. "You'll be restored to glory soon, and if not you're still the best student in your year. Actually you're probably the best student in the whole school. After all you are top in _almost _everything," he finished by emphasizing the correction.

Hermione didn't argue further.

On their way to the Entrance Hall the almost couple passed very few beings. A few first years with more free time than they knew what to do with loitered in the corridors, and one ghost drifted lazily past.

None of these people, be they dead or alive, were of any importance to either of them. So it irritated Cormac more than a little that every time somebody approached Hermione silently withdrew her hand from his and took a step away from him. When they had passed, she would of course take his hand again.

Even though he was used to this by now, Cormac had trouble controlling his frustration every time it happened. Whilst some things grew easier with practise (Quidditch, for example) this seemed to be harder.

Nevertheless Cormac put on a brave face and showed no sign of the frustration he felt at his sort-of-girlfriend's unwillingness to acknowledge him in public.

Hermione had given him just one last chance, and he did not intend to throw that away by getting angry about something petty.

_At least you can hold her hand_; his inner voice consoled him as they walked out into the sunlight.

**Author's Notes**: Reviews of all types are very much appreciated.


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's notes**: Writer's block struck again! Something in my head hates this pairing, I think!

Oh well, the chapter's here at last.  
Thanks so so so so so so much to everyone who reviewed, favourited and alerted this, really. The response overwhelmed me! I hope I can live up to your expectations :)

Please remember to feedback from this chapter too!

**Chapter 1**

The cold spring rain hammered against the tower window. Hermione flopped down on her bed with a tired sigh.

Ron and Lavender had been at it _again_ in the middle of the common room. Hermione had wanted to leave but something, probably pride, had kept her sat in her seat until she nearly exploded with frustration, born from feelings of rejection and envy.

She had convinced herself just that morning that she would not let Ron and Lavender's activities drive her from the room again. Yet here she was, just a few hours later, having just broken that promise to herself.

It must be the hundredth time.

It was possible for Hermione to hold back her tears now. When Ron had first kissed Lavender they'd erupted in a flood, like some great damn breaking…

…like her heart had cracked right down the middle.

Now she didn't shed a tear, though she couldn't sit in the same room as him as he wound his arms round another girl and stuck his tongue down her throat.

Despite her hatred and despair, Hermione knew that Ron wouldn't have hurt her so badly deliberately. He was ignorant and stupid, not heartless. Deep down, she didn't blame Ron at all, so it was really the terrible self-pity that was gnawing away at her.

With a flick of her wand Hermione drew the curtains around her bed. She curled up into a ball on her side, holding her knees to her chest.

_At least Cormac is making things a little easier,_ she thought to herself.

Whilst Ron Weasley persisted to be an annoyance, it seemed that Cormac McLaggen had become annoyingly persistent.

Hermione hadn't meant anything romantic in the least when she had tricked him into asking her to Slughorn's party. In fact, she had chosen him because he was one of the more irritating people she could think of.

He had insisted, nonetheless, on being the sweetest, kindest, most patient boy Hermione had ever had the pleasure to spend time with, and this was _after _he'd found out that she'd only asked him out to irritate Ron.

Cormac McLaggen was determined to become her boyfriend.

At first Hermione had doubted his sincerity, and it hadn't taken her long to jump to the conclusion that he wanted a way to get close to Harry. He must have figured it was one way to get the place he so desperately desired on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Yet as time went on Cormac's words and actions had grown more and more gentle, more and more determined, more and more focused. The look in Cormac's eyes every time she forgot to look away as he gazed at her burned. It hurt just a little to see someone love her so much, when she did not love him in return. Ron had made sure she knew how that felt.

Hermione wanted to let the guilt eat her up. She closed her eyes tightly.

Cormac had his hands in hers, and was smiling. She was kissing his cheek. He told her, honestly, that he thought her beautiful.

Recently, despite her guilt, it was memories of Cormac that Hermione had been visiting at night, in place of memories of Ron.

* * *

Harry continued to alternate between spending time with Ron and spending time with Hermione as the term progressed.

It was because of this that Cormac and Hermione's relationship was able to progress in complete secrecy with next to no effort on Hermione's part. Cormac's best friend was aware of the situation, but Cormac had assured Hermione that Kurt was too arrogant to talk about somebody else's life.

Hermione was content in the knowledge that no one had to know she was spending so much time with a person who she had despised weeks ago, purely on principle. He was arrogant and he was Ron's rival. She had found him repulsive.

When she looked back now, she wondered why. The only conclusion she could come to, was that she disliked him because Ron and Harry disliked him.

But a mild dislike and annoyance on her friends' part was no reason to despise someone.

Leaning against the windowsill in an empty corridor, Hermione stared out over the grounds, but didn't see them. "I think I may have a problem," Hermione muttered to herself.

It was difficult to find space to think these days, what with McLaggen wanting to spend every spare moment with her.

Her time was divided more or less equally between Cormac and Harry.

She didn't mind overly, as she had to admit that she liked the company a lot more than the empty rejection she had felt surrounding her when Ron and Lavender had first started dating. Nevertheless, it was nice to steal a few quite moments to organise her jumbled thoughts. She was always very confused lately.

"My problem is," she told nobody, as she continued to stare into space in the empty, upstairs corridor, "that I like McLaggen a whole lot more than I ever thought possible. Yet no matter how much I know that I like him, and that he likes me more than could ever be reasonable, I'm still going to like Ron."

Hermione sighed heavily and rested her chin on her hands. "Sorry Cormac," she whispered into the wind.

This wasn't the first time that Ron had ruined a relationship for Hermione. She'd had feelings for the dense red head since second year. She'd broken it off with Victor because she'd known that she loved Ron more.

First Victor, and now Mclaggen.

All for one Ronald Weasley.

Who was most likely currently eating Lavender Brown's face in a corner of the common room. She knew, because she'd seen them at it some twenty minutes ago.

"He isn't worth it," Hermione whispered in shocked revelation. "My life, yes. My happiness…no. He's not worth it."

"Who's not worth what?" said a cheerful voice behind her.  
Despite her best efforts, a small smile crept onto Hermione's face at the sound of that voice. He'd found her, again. She had wondered briefly if he'd found a way to follow her.

"Hello Cormac," she said simply, not bothering to turn around, as he came to lean against the wall next to her windowsill. "I see you managed to find me again."

She could hear his grin as he spoke. "Are you avoiding me, Hermione Granger? Is it I who's not worth your time?"

Grinning too, Hermione replied, "No, I was just pondering out loud. I was also wondering when you managed to put a tracking spell on me."

He laughed. "I was worried," he confessed. "Potter was in the common room with some other friends, and I didn't think you were up in your dorm. It made me worry that something had upset you."

Hermione turned her head away from Cormac slightly so she could frown without him seeing. He'd obviously figured that she'd have been upset by seeing Ron and Lavender making out in public view again, and had come to find her in concern. He also knew not to mention that that was what he knew.

Cormac was getting good at figuring her out.

"I just wanted some time to think. It's rare that I get the chance to just sit alone," she explained.

Hastily Cormac stood up straight. "Good, I'm glad you're okay. I'll leave you to your thinking." He began to walk away.

"Wait!" Hermione called.  
Cormac turned around, looking confused. "What is it?" he asked simply.

Hermione blushed slightly. "You can stay if you like…I mean, you don't have to go…I was done thinking anyway."

Cormac smiled. "Sure, I'll stay if you want me to." He perched on the edge of the windowsill she had been leaning against previously. "Don't feel obliged though, I know you're not totally comfortable around me yet."

The "yet" resounded in Hermione's ears. It amazed her how persistent Cormac was. Ron was never so persistent, even with a girl he really liked. He just seemed to take the path that was easiest. Cormac seemed to take the path that he thought would make him happy in the long run, even if that path were a difficult one.

"I'm actually very used to you being around now," Hermione confessed. "It's…nice. I like having the company."

He grinned broadly. "Me too."

Hermione stood in the corridor feeling quite at ease. Cormac was wrong. She was perfectly comfortable in his presence.

"Hey, Hermione," he said eventually, breaking the silence. He seemed somewhat nervous. "We've been spending time alone together for a while now, and I was wondering…just pondering, so don't feel forced…but…can I kiss you?"

It was blunt. McLaggen had obviously had that offer accepted many times before, as he seemed to have no subtle way of putting it. Either that, or he was as nervous and apprehensive as Hermione felt, and thus incapable of using his imagination to come up with better.

Hermione swallowed before replying, to give herself time to stall. "On…on the lips?" It sounded so lame, that she could have kicked herself.

"Well yeah," answered Cormac, looking sheepish and running a hand through his curly hair distractedly.

Knowing she didn't have much time to come to a decision, as standing pondering awkwardly for hours was just not an option, Hermione kicked her thoughts into fast forward.

To kiss Cormac was to put a definition on their relationship, and to make it official. It would be romance then. The idea had some appeal. There was one thing holding her back…

"Yes," she answered simply.

Cormac slid off the windowsill and landed agilely on the floor. "What…seriously?"

"Seriously," she replied, sounding a lot more confident than she felt.

"Well…cool."

He moved towards her, and placed a hand gently on her shoulder. Hermione looked up at him. Cormac's smile was tentative. His eyes looked apprehensive.

He placed his other hand behind her head ever so carefully, and began to move closer…

Hermione could see red hair and blue eyes and a long nose. Ron was kissing someone, but it wasn't Lavender. It was Ron's hand in her hair and Ron's hand on her shoulder and…  
Desperately, Hermione struggled away from Cormac before their lips met.

"I'm really sorry Cormac," she whispered as she backed away down the corridor. "I'm really, really sorry."

And with that said, she turned and fled.


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes:** Never have I received so many reviews, emails and pms about a story. Thank you.

The last few years have seen no reduction in the number of messages I've received urging me to continue this story. And so, eventually, when inspiration struck me, I wrote another chapter.

I'm sorry things have taken so long. My life has transformed these last few years. Since writing this story I've graduated from school and started at university. It's been the hardest and yet most rewarding period of my life. I've lost and gained friends and family. I also found the love of my life. When I started writing romance fanfiction I must admit I had no idea what I was talking about. Three and a half years since this story was updated is three and a half years since I met Kit. When I started this story I'd never been in love. Now I'm engaged to be married. My how things changed!

I must apologize for how this story may change as things go by. My writing will definitely change, because I have.

I hope I can still write something worth reading, and please bear with me; my workload may keep me from writing for a while.

**Chapter 2**

The Gryffindor common room resounded with it's normal level of mid Saturday morning background noise.

Several people studying, more were playing games. A large proportion of students were still in bed.

Kurt was typically of the more lazy variety and tended to sleep in until lunch at the weekends. Today however he had woken up early and had offered to play chess with his best friend, who was usually an early riser.

Yet despite Cormac Mclaggen's acceptance of the challenge Kurt was beginning to suspect that his friend's heart was not in the game.

"Cormy," Kurt called.

His friend continued to stare into space.

"Cormy!" he persisted a little louder.

Nothing.

"For Merlin's sake Cormac!" he shouted.

Cormac jumped. "Huh?"

"Move a piece already. It's been your turn for the last ten minutes!"

"Oh, right," Cormac responded. With a dazed expression he moved his queen, who was protesting, into place. He had just managed to sacrifice one of his most vital pieces with no gain in sight. He seemed not to hear the screams of his pieces as his queen was viciously destroyed.

Kurt sighed dramatically as Cormac didn't realise, yet again, that it was his move. "What's Hermione done now?" he asked exasperatedly.

Cormac seemed to deflate. He sank back into his chair, looking completely defeated.

"Mate…what happened?" Kurt asked concernedly.

His face crumpled in utter defeat, Cormac murmured, "I tried to kiss her."

Kurt frowned. "Is that it?"

Cormac glared at him.

"Well you've kissed before haven't you? It's not like it's a crime."

"She ran away crying."

"Are you really that bad?" Kurt joked. "If you have to practice you know you only have to ask…"

"Shut up," Cormac ordered vehemently. "I didn't even get to kiss her."

Kurt threw his hands up in frustration. "Then what was she crying about?" he nearly shouted.

"I don't know!" Cormac shouted back. "If I knew I'd be sorting it out, wouldn't I?"

The two boys slumped back into there seats.

"What you need is to choose a different…" Kurt began, but was cut off.

"I'm not dating Maria."

"Fine," said Kurt. "Fine. If you want bossy little-miss-know-it-all, then so be it." He lowered his voice and smiled encouragingly. "If that's the case though we still need to hold a strategy meeting. You can't go up against a girl as complex as that without a plan."

Cormac smiled too. "You'll help me?"

"You're my best friend, so I'll try to help you," Kurt conceded. "Although to date, I think I've yet to be helpful."

Cormac smirked. "As long as I don't end up with your girl problems I'll be content. So…what's the strategy?"

* * *

Hermione stared at the calendar with an air of bleak satisfaction. The square representing March the first was covered completely in black ink. The words "Ron's birthday" could no longer be seen beneath the block of solid black.

As she stood and looked at it, the thrill of the moment started to leak away. This was childish. How was obliterating Ron's birthday from the calendar going to help her get over him?

The other day was still eating at her.

She'd wanted to let Cormac kiss her, she really had…she'd wanted to forget Ron and forget their past and just fall for someone else: someone who appreciated her, someone who loved her back.

Someone who didn't have red hair and freckles and a long nose and who wasn't dating someone else!

Yet she knew she couldn't insult Cormac the way she would have if she'd kissed him. He loved her too much for her to do that to him. She couldn't kiss him and imagine he was Ron. That wasn't fair. It wasn't even right!

"Penny for your thoughts, Hermione?" Harry said, sitting beside her.

She was sat alone by the fire in the common room, her books laid out around her and her set homework long finished. She'd been trying to read, but the incident that had happened the other night just kept coming back to her. That's when, in a moment of madness, she'd thought that erasing Ron's birthday from her schedule would actually help.

"It's nothing," Hermione said, pushing the calendar quickly out of sight.

Harry looked at her long and hard before deciding to press on. "Hermione, you've not been right recently…"

She opened her mouth to interrupt but he cut her off. "I know about the Ron thing. I mean besides that. Something's up."

She looked back at him steadily, perfecting an innocently confused expression. Hermione was one hundred percent sure that Harry couldn't have found out about her relationship with McLaggen without some very deep digging. "I have no idea what you mean," she replied curtly.

Harry's face contorted. "Hermione, you're my best friend, and I'm worried about you. Where have you been going, and who with?"

"I don't know what you mean," she repeated.

As much as it may hurt Harry to block him from a part of her life, Hermione knew that he'd be even more hurt if he knew she were more or less dating McLaggen. Cormac had been a thorn in Harry's side regarding Ron and Quidditch for months now, and Hermione was sure Harry would jump to the conclusion that she was only spending time with the seventh year to make Ron jealous.

She wasn't.

She was spending time with him because it took her mind away from Ron.

"I'm a big girl, Harry," she replied tartly. "I can look after myself."

"Alright," he replied with reluctance. "Oh, and about Ron, you should just-"

"I'm not talking to him!"

"You should just forget about him for now," he finished. "Don't let him make you miserable. Find something that will make you happy again, please. I don't want either of my best friends to be miserable."

Hermione smiled at him genuinely. "Thanks Harry."

Not long after Harry left for Quidditch practice, leaving Hermione alone with her thoughts again.

She wanted to forget Ron; she wanted someone who could actually make her happy.

Cormac couldn't forget her; he wanted to make her happy.

If only she could forget Ron things would be so perfect. It seemed every day the red head made her more and more miserable.

* * *

Kurt had recruited the help of sixth year Parvati Patil to devise a strategy to win Hermione over. Kurt claimed that he and Parvati were dating, and had been for several months. Parvati contradicted this, called him vile, and said she was only helping because Hermione was her friend.

They argued like a married couple.

The three of them locked themselves in the seventh year boy's dormitories with a roll of parchment and a quill, trying to devise a plan.

After half an hour, it still wasn't working.

"I'd advise simply being patient," Parvati had begun, "only you've been at this for months already. At this rate you two may be kissing by…next spring. You won't be official for 3 years hence, and you'll only be planning the wedding when you're fifty."

Kurt nodded. "You need something to speed things up a bit."

"You could kill Ron Weasley," Parvati joked. "It might not make you popular with Hermione or Harry, but it would remove all competition…although my best friend might kill you as revenge."

"I could kill Weasley for him, and then you and I could flee the country together!" Kurt suggested, reaching to put his arm around Parvati's waist.

"Only in your most perverted dreams," Parvati bit back. She shoved him away forcefully. "Cormac, think. What worked with Hermione?"

Cormac thought for a moment. "I only had to tell her she was beautiful. After I'd said that her heart almost seemed to melt."

Parvati face changed. She got the look of a small school girl looking at a pony. "Oh that's so adorable. How could any girl not fall for you Cormac?" she sighed.

"Because he's a berk," Kurt said.

Cormac slammed his hand down angrily onto his bedside table. "This whole meeting is stupid."

Nodding, Parvati agreed, "I agree. Kurt, leave."

Before Kurt could continue into another argument Cormac stood up. "It's fine, Parvati. Thank you for trying to help. But this is something I think I need to do alone. Hermione isn't a problem to be solved. She's a heart to be won. If it takes one hundred years then I will wait one hundred years. She'll love me in the end. I know it."

"You're an idiot," muttered Kurt.

"Wow…" sighed Parvati.

Before leaving he turned to Kurt. "And you were right, you have yet to be helpful."

And with that Cormac stormed, frustrated, from the room.


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes: **It didn't take me three years to update!  
On the subject of regular updates…please check the poll on my profile. I'd love to know how you feel about when you want chapters uploaded. (Because I have such a great reputation for sticking to these promises…)  
I'm also looking for a BETA reader. So if you're reading this and thinking "She really needs a BETA reader!" then it might be the job for you!

**Chapter 3**

Hermione knelt on her bed.

The curtains were drawn around the bed, enveloping her in a musty darkness. Books were scattered across the covers, dark heavy tombs of questionable origin. She'd spent all day pouring over books in the library, but when she suspected that the librarian was checking what she was reading as she prowled the isles Hermione had checked them out instead.

"It's for an essay on memory loss," she had told the librarian when Madam Pince had given her a disapproving glare. The librarian didn't comment, but Hermione suspected that were she less of a model student she wouldn't be allowed to take so many books from the restricted section without a proper grilling.

Now, after several hours of searching, she'd finally found what she was looking for. As the light from her wand danced over the page a sad smile spread across her face. She'd found a charm for removing memories. It wasn't a permanent charm, just one that allowed one's memories to be placed into vials for a time. Nor was charm illegal, just vastly dangerous and probably strictly against Hogwarts' rules.

Hermione hesitated for a moment to decide.

Was all of this really worth the risk?

She looked to her left, at the sheet of parchment lying among the books. It was a letter, one of the most beautiful letters she'd ever received. Yet she hadn't been able to smile as she read it; it had taken all her strength to hold back her tears.

She muttered a silencing charm, waving her wand at the curtains, and then she set about arranging the vials.

If anything could end this pain and bring her happiness is was surely worth the risk.

* * *

Cormac fidgeted uneasily with his tie as he strolled briskly around the lake. He knew that he shouldn't be worried about the fact that she hadn't replied yet, after all it had only been twelve hours since he'd sent the stupid letter, but still he was uneasy. This was his fourth lap of the lake today, and he'd barely even noticed.

He'd given up asking his best friend for any girl advice. In fact he'd given up on advice altogether.

If there was any set method in the world for figuring out a typical girl it just wouldn't work on Hermione, because Hermione wasn't typical.

So he'd written her a letter and simply poured out his heart to her. Being honest had worked last time after all, so why wouldn't it work again?

_Dear Hermione_

_I'm so sorry that I was so forward the other day. I shouldn't have pressured you for an answer, or even have asked something like I did in the first place._

_I don't want to pressure you into anything Hermione. You are an incredible woman, and I am so unworthy of you, but I find myself helpless at the thought of you. I love being around you. You're so intelligent and talking to you is always fun. You're so beautiful, and so pretty. Looking at you always brings a smile to my face._

_You said you'd give me a second chance, and I intend to fight for you until you tell me that chance is up._

_I just hope that I've not screwed up once and for all._

_I eagerly await your reply._

_Yours always_

_Cormac_

It had taken him a whole night to craft the letter, and reams of parchment. Eventually he was certain he could do no better and had sent it before he changed his mind. He had intended to sleep after he had sent the letter, but as soon as the owl had flown from the Owlery his exhaustion evaporated to be replaced by fear. He'd been thirty two hours without sleep now, but Cormac knew he wouldn't rest easy until Hermione had responded to his letter.

He kicked at the stones in his path as he walked, taking out his frustration on the inanimate objects.

At the end of his wits now, all of Cormac's hopes rested in this one message. He hated having his future out of his control. Hermione held the key to everything now, or so he felt. Whether or not he could ever be truly be happy again rested in her hands.

And whilst her reply didn't matter that much in the grand scheme of the world, to Cormac right now it seemed to be all that mattered. He couldn't push her, he couldn't even encourage her: he just had to let her decide for herself in her own time. He wanted to jump up and down in front of her and scream "Pick me, pick me!" until she fell into his arms and into his life. A grand gesture of affection was easy. Waiting for her to care for him in return was the hardest think that Cormac had ever had to do.

"How have I fallen so deep, so quickly?" he wondered aloud. "Is this what it means to fall in love?"

* * *

Slowly and carefully she lifted the wand away from her temple. With it came a thin silver strand, dancing and twisting as though caught in a breeze despite the air in the bedroom being totally still. She touched the tip of the wand to the vial, and the vial filled with the silver string where it became as liquid, swirling and twisting even when the little bottle was still.

Hermione capped the vial and placed it in a box. Thirty other small vials sat in the box already, the same silver liquid dancing and swirling inside them.

The lid of the box was fastened with string. A small label had been attached to the string. On it she'd simply written "Ron" in neat cursive hand writing.

For a brief moment she toyed with the idea of throwing the box out of the window and allowing the vials to shatter on the ground many meters below. The memories would escape forever and she truly could forget that she had ever fallen in love.

Instead, with an air of resignation, she got up from her bed. Parvati was studying on her own bed, and looked at Hermione curiously as she knelt to place the box in the very bottom of her trunk.

"I thought you were sleeping, I couldn't hear any sound," she commented. And then her expression changed to a slight frown. "Are you okay Hermione?" she asked concernedly. "You look ever so tired."

Hermione straightened up and smiled. Much to her relief she found that she could smile. In fact she could beam. For the first time in months now Hermione could finally forget her troubles.

"I feel fantastic, Parvati," she said, and felt it too, every word. And then she realised that for the first time in months she wasn't lying about her feelings either, and that made her grin even more. "I thought I'd just go for a walk before curfew."

Parvati still looked a little concerned, but obviously not enough to probe. "Well that's good news. I'm glad you're feeling happy. Enjoy your walk."

"I will," replied Hermione, tiding the books into a neat pile and snatching up the letter, tucking it away in her pocket. She nearly skipped from the room.

It was only at the bottom of the stairs that Hermione realised she probably should have asked Parvati if she knew where Cormac was. Parvati was dating his Cormac's friend, or so she'd heard.

Unperturbed she continued anyway, out of the common room and into the wider castle.

She reread the letter as she walked, and the time she couldn't hold back a smile. "Yours always, Cormac," she read out loud as she finished the letter. She let the words hang in the air as she clutched the parchment to her chest.

It felt good to know she was so wanted; to no longer feel the bitter sting of rejection.

She was off to find the person who she knew held the key to her future and her happiness. She didn't look back to the memories that she had so carelessly left behind.

* * *

**Author's Note:**  
If you leave a review I will endeavour to reply as soon as possible.

I am happy to receive encouragement or criticism. I try my best to learn from what my readers say.

I'm sorry to all those who posted reviews from previous chapters, I probably won't reply to them now because I feel like too much time has passed. PM me if you like, you're much more likely to get hold of me!


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes: **Hello lovelies! This update's a little early because I have an exam tomorrow and the next day, and so I probably won't have time to post this up tomorrow night.  
The next update will be late, as I'm not going to have time to write another chapter between exams.

I'll update ASAP, but education always comes first!

Thanks again for all the lovely reviews, and enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

It was only around eight o'clock, and already the moon bathed the grounds in its silver light. She found him sitting on the front steps of the castle. It was unlike Cormac to be so inactive. He rarely just sat and looked at things. Yet this evening he seemed to be content to just sit and let the world pass him by. With an enormous amount of patience he seemed to be waiting for something.

Hermione hoped she knew what that something was.

Silently she took a seat beside him. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on her knees and for just a moment she allowed herself to enjoy the peace of the evening.

"Hello," he murmured softly.

His eyes were fixed on her now, she could feel the hairs standing up on the back of her neck in the way they always did when she was watched. But she kept her eyes on the view ahead. "Hi," she answered simply.

"What're you watching?" he asked.

The thought crossed her mind at first that she wasn't really watching anything. What she was doing was not looking at him; but instead she looked and told him what she saw. "I'm watching the stars."

It was one of those crisp, cold January evenings and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The moon was round and full and shining brightly. The stars dotted the sky and frost lay heavy on the ground. Even inside her thick school robes Hermione felt cold.

Cormac shifted awkwardly on the step. "Did you get my letter?" he asked hesitantly.

She ripped her eyes away from the night sky and turned to look at the young man beside her. He looked desperately hopeful and desperately afraid all at once. "Yes."

It was obvious that Cormac wouldn't allow himself to smile, not yet. He was glad that she was here, that she'd come to find him, but he was determined not to jump to any conclusions. "Did you…did you like it?" his voice almost cracked at the end.

Like was such a simple word, Hermione mused. Like didn't come close to describing the complex emotions that the letter had aroused within her, nor did it begin to explain the difficult decision it had persuaded her to make. She tried and failed to find the words to say what she had felt. Instead she simply closed her mouth again and nodded.

Cormac's face split into the grin he'd been holding back since he arrived. "Good." And with that he went back to watching the stars.

She watched him. She wasn't really totally conscious that they had swapped their usual roles. Everything about him was content now. His posture was relaxed; his mouth was curved into a casual smile. Suddenly, desperately she wanted to be that relaxed. She wanted to be closer to him.

"Thank you," she said, more to get him to look at her again, and smile that smile of his, than for any other reason.

He was happy to oblige. "You're welcome," he said, a grin playing about his lips.

"It's cold out here tonight," Hermione observed. It was simply a statement of fact, a way of making conversation. It was the first common conversation topic she could think of that wasn't totally awkward. Nothing had been meant by it.

Cormac interpreted it differently. Slowly, gently he placed his arm around her shoulders and drew her close. "It's warmer since you got here."

She didn't know how to respond; so she didn't.

And they sat there, huddled together in the cold night air, until it was time to go to bed.

* * *

The day's lessons flew by in euphoric bliss. Cormac couldn't tell you what had happened between breakfast and now because he'd only been half aware of most of it. He couldn't stop remembering Hermione.

Kurt worked out fairly quickly what was wrong with his distant best friend. "I see that you and Hermione made up, from the goofy grin on your face. What did you do?"

"I just wrote her a letter," he replied simply, "and I told her the truth."

Kurt mumbled a disapproval that followed the theme of putting in too much effort. Cormac ignored him.

Last night he and Hermione had sat for nearly an hour on the cold front steps of the castle, watching the stars. He'd put his arm around her, and she'd let him, even leaned against him a little. It had almost been like being in heaven. If only it hadn't been so cold.

Resounding above all his happy memories of the thoughts and feelings that had passed through his head rang one wonderful idea; she forgave me and came back to me.

Now he was on his way to meet her again. They'd agreed before parting ways to sleep that they'd spend some time doing something together this evening, though they hadn't really planned what. Knowing Hermione it would probably be studying, but Cormac actually quite enjoyed studying with Hermione.

Immediately after the Christmas break his grades had risen and the only reason behind that could be Hermione. He hadn't put any extra time or effort into his work; it had just been that most of his time spent with her had been passed in the library.

For Cormac the evening couldn't come quickly enough.

* * *

For the first time in months now Hermione was truly enjoying class. She was truly enjoying everything in truth. Today every simple pleasure seemed magnified by the simple lack of pain in her chest.

"Hermione, you're acting rather oddly," Ginny commented concernedly over breakfast.

It was only when she stopped to answer her friend that Hermione realised she had been humming. Hermione didn't make a comment, she just looked at her friend questioningly.

"Why are you humming?" asked the red head somewhat disbelievingly.

Hermione shrugged. "I'm enjoying my book."

Ginny looked at the cover of "An Encyclopaedia of Common Magical Flora and Fauna, Volume III" dubiously.

Looking rather tired Harry arrived. He took the seat next to Ginny and started loading his plate with food. "How're you two?" he asked by way of conversation.

"Hermione's humming," Ginny stated, looking baffled.

Harry also looked confused. "Humming? Humming what?"

Ginny stared at him. "Why would it matter what she's humming? She's being all chirpy and happy because of her herbology encyclopaedia and it's just a little bit odd."

Hermione burst out laughing. "I'm just happy, Ginny. It's not really for a particular reason."

Not so discretely Harry glanced to where Ron and Lavender were sitting. Lavender looked happy as ever, practically draped over Ron. To Harry's eyes Ron seemed to be looking slightly harassed.

Looking back at Hermione Harry gave a nervous smile. "Well I'm glad you're feeling better Hermione," Harry said cautiously. He didn't look too glad, Hermione noted.

"Yeah, it's great to see a smile on your face," Ginny agreed somewhat obliviously.

Harry kept looking up at Hermione nervously. When they parted ways with Ginny to go to class Harry turned to her rather abruptly, but before he could open his mouth to ask she already had a response. "I didn't do anything stupid this time Harry, I promise," she told him. "I just think there might be someone else I can be happy with, and I'm going to take that chance."

"Is this…someone besides…?" he began questioningly, but trailed off, reluctant to bring up the object of Hermione's former woes.

"It's not Ron," she answered his unspoken question. It felt good to be able to admit it so openly and so painlessly, that she genuinely didn't need her former best friend any more. "If things go well you'll find out soon enough Harry, just trust me."

"I do, Hermione, I do," he agreed, though he seemed dubious. "Just don't do anything rash again, please. We don't want a repeat of what happened with McLaggen."

All Hermione gave Harry in response was a laugh.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Reviews are loved and keep me coming back to write, they really do. I'll do my best to reply to every one.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

They had agreed to meet at the base of the North Tower straight after class. Hermione had wondered why Cormac had insisted upon meeting before dinner. When he wasn't on time she started to suspect that he had forgotten; but only fifteen minutes late he stumbled up to her carrying a large hamper packed with food. It took all Hermione's strength to bite back her protests about elf rights when he told her that he'd been by the kitchens to get their dinner.

The North Tower was totally deserted of students out of class hours. Professor Trelawney's reputation was enough to ensure the tower was deserted of staff, students and ghost at all but the worst of times, because they didn't wish to be bombarded for hours by her useless predictions. The two teenagers found a deserted alcove part way up the tower and sat together to enjoy their indoor picnic.

Simple pleasantries were exchanged with only a small degree of awkwardness. All the "How are you?" 's and "How was your day?" 's failed to spark the two into any easy conversation. Before long a comfortable silence settled over the two, and they ate their meal with only the occasional comment.

When both Cormac and Hermione were sure they couldn't eat another bite they packed the rest of the food away and pushed the hamper to one side.

"Thank you, Cormac," said Hermione with a big smile. "This was really lovely. It's nice to get away from dinner for once. It was a nice surprise."

"Good!" he exclaimed with a satisfied grin. "I love going down to the kitchens every now and then. The food is so good, and the elves seem so glad to have company. I don't think that they get many visitors…"

Again Hermione bit her tongue. "Uh huh," she hummed in agreement, struggling to keep her temper. She silently wished that he'd simply notice her discomfort and change the subject.

"They were especially happy today when I asked them for a hamper. They just love to serve; it's nice to give them something to do. They really appreciate it."

Something inside Hermione snapped. "Oh _please_," she spat, venomous. "You can't really believe that you were improving the lives of the poor creatures by giving them _more _work. All they do all day every day is serve other people, and the busiest time of their day is dinner, and that's when you chose to waltz into the kitchens, hinder their work and what's more, double their work load! It's not nice, it's not kind, and it does not enrich their lives. It's not even all that romantic!" She took a deep breath, and noticed that Cormac was doubled over. "Cormac… are you _laughing_?"

Cormac composed himself and grinned at her. "You probably don't remember, but the very first time you came to my attention, aside from you being one of those kids who was always with Harry Potter when he got Gryffindor in trouble, was when you accosted me in the common room to talk to me about elf rights. It was a couple of years ago now, and I was convinced you were insane. You've not been very talkative with me, so I tried to think of something you'd want to talk about." He shrugged and smiled innocently. "It worked."

She frowned, clearly irritated.

"Oh come on Hermione, I wanted to hear your thoughts. I've never heard anybody question why elves work how they do. Where do your ideas come from?"

After a moment, still looking very annoyed, Hermione replied. "I think it's because I'm muggle born. I'm not indoctrinated to believe that all elves should be oppressed."

Cormac didn't laugh or smirk. He looked at her very seriously as he took this in. "That's interesting," he admitted. "Don't you think that the elves like their work?" he asked.

"Dobby doesn't," Hermione replied bluntly.

Cormac looked baffled.

"Dobby's an elf who made friends with Harry. He was freed when... actually it's a very long story. The point is more important. Dumbledore pays him for his work, and he seems much more content now."

Instead of agreeing, Cormac just looked more confused. "But he still does the same now as he ever did?"

Shocked, Hermione considered the question. "I suppose he does, but now he isn't bullied into it. He does it because he wants to, and to earn his pay."

Cormac scratched his head. "It would seem to me that the problem is that this elf was mistreated, not that he was asked to do something beyond him. You want elves to be respected, not for their role to change."

"You're wrong. I want them to have a choice; I want them to be equal."

Silence reigned over their alcove for a minute or so as Cormac took in Hermione's words. Outside and far below them a bird sung softly. Another one, father away, answered.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I don't think I really understand all this."

Hermione smiled reassuringly. "No one ever did. That's why I stopped trying so hard to convince people. At least you listened though; twice now, even! It's more than most people."

Cormac smiled again. "It's the least I can do."

The stone floor was ridiculously uncomfortable. Hermione shifted to stop her legs from seizing up. Outside the sun was setting. The candles that lit the corridor in which they were sat began to light, one by one. The portraits were settling down to another quiet evening on their normally deserted corridor. None of them seemed to show particular interest in the teenagers who formed an unusual invasion into their peace.

"Thank you for treating me to dinner," Hermione said dutifully.

"It's my pleasure." Cormac leaned back against the wall, stretching his legs out in front of him.

"You're so kind, Cormac," Hermione admitted, looking nervously at her feet. "I really don't deserve you."

He made an odd choking noise. Hermione looked over at him and found he too was staring at his toes. His face was glowing with the compliment. "Thank you," he managed to mutter.

Suddenly, Hermione simply had the urge to reach out for him. As he sat there, blushing at her praise, trying so hard to impress her, she wanted to be near him. She mattered to him, and she liked that.

She inched closer so that she was sat right beside him. When he looked up his blush deepened, but wordlessly he pulled her against him, and tucked her head under his chin. It was comfortable to lean against him like that, more comfortable than she would have thought possible.

"What do you care about, Cormac?" she asked quietly.

The answer he gave wasn't what she had expected. She'd thought he'd say Quidditch, or something equally as mundane. Instead he really, seriously thought about it before he answered.

"For a long time now I've wanted to fight for something real. Everything that happened last year with Umbridge was a joke; Voldemort's back and we should have been fighting him, not trying to cover up his existence." Cormac paused for a moment, thinking how to phrase his next sentence. "I think that I'd like to go into some form of law enforcement. I want to be on the front line: making things happen and putting them to rights. I don't have the grades to be an auror, but I'm hoping that when I graduate I can do something, anything for the ministry. We're at war now, and I intend to fight!" He glanced down at the girl in his arms. "What are you pulling that face for?"

Hermione looked embarrassed. "It's just…I thought you were going to say Quidditch."

Cormac smiled, and to Hermione's surprise, tightened his grip on her shoulder affectionately. "As a kid I always thought that to become a professional Quidditch player was my dream. But about a year ago I realised that it was everybody's dream, pretty much. More than that I'm just not that good; I mean, Weasley could beat me in try-outs."

Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off.

"I'm not saying I'm a bad player, I should be on the team as far as I'm concerned, but I'm just not good enough to be a pro. But the real reason it's no longer my dream is that I don't think it's what I really want. Money is nice, but fame looks like it could simply be dangerous. I want a life much simpler than that; as well as much more meaningful."

"Oh." She was shocked by his speech, but inspired.

"Besides, what's the point of loving Quidditch, or picnicking in corridors with pretty girls if I can't fight to protect that way of life when I have to?" Cormac's usual, arrogant smile played around his lips.

Hermione punched his chest gently, but she felt oddly warm inside. Again, Cormac had surprised her, had deeply impressed her. When she looked at his face his eyes sparkled with the joy of just having her there, beside him. She knew that she was in too deep this time.

With a slight hesitation and a great deal of shyness, Hermione reached up and kissed Cormac's cheek softly. "Thank you for sharing that with me; and for sharing this meal. It's been lovely."

Sensing that she wanted to end their meeting, Cormac released Hermione and stood up. He bent down to reach for the hamper, and in that moment Hermione was suddenly afraid.

She didn't want him to leave.

"Cormac, wait!"

Clumsily Hermione clambered to her feet. She slowly crossed the short space between them. Gingerly she stood on tiptoes and leaned towards him.

Cormac reached out his hand and placed it on her shoulder, halting her in her path. "Hermione, please," he said gently. "I don't want your pity."

With both hands she knocked his arm out of the way. "It's not pity, Cormac," she said. "I think I really want this."

And this time, when Hermione tried to place her lips against his, Cormac let her.

The initial sensation was shocking and confusing, but then it was gentle, pleasant. As she tried to pull away he wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her closer. When she didn't protest he placed his other hand on the back of her head to guide her. Her hands were clenched into fists against his chest. The smell of her, the feel of her, and the closeness was totally overwhelming: Cormac was fast forgetting how to breathe.

When they pulled apart, breathless, Cormac couldn't help but smirk. Hermione smiled shyly.

An inexplicable feeling of unease crept over Cormac, but he pushed it away. He knew that he loved this girl, and in that moment it didn't matter why she was finally in his arms.

"Please," he asked with a grin, "can we discount all previous occasions and make _this_ our first kiss?"

He took her nervous laugh as a yes.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **  
Is all really as well as it seems? You'll have to wait for the next chapter to find out!

I currently do not have a BETA reader for this fic, and would love one. If you would like to BETA read please pm me. I'm open to hearing constructive criticism and working with you to make this story the best it can possibly be!

Thank you to everyone who continues to read and review my sporadic updates. My life is hectic; in good ways and in bad. I do hope to finish this story…in fact I am determined to, no matter how long it takes!

Please review: positive or negative; long or short. I will do my best to learn from your comments, and reply to all signed reviews.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Hermione fell onto her bed with a contented sigh. Tonight had been wonderful.

She simply couldn't remember the last time she had been this happy.

"What's got into you Hermione?" asked Parvati nosily.

"Read a good book," she mumbled, ignoring the other girls as she closed the curtains around her bed.

After eating their picnic together, Cormac and Hermione had gone to the library to do some studying. They'd sat right at the back, hidden from the view of the rest of the world by shelves of books. Cormac made a fantastic study partner, much better than Harry and…that red headed boy. He was totally silent when he needed to be, and although his grades were nowhere near as high as Hermione's, being a year older meant he had the experience of having passed some of Hermione's classes already. She had managed to do all her reading for the next day's classes in no time.

When she finally finished all of her work she looked up to find Cormac watching her. He blushed at being caught: she couldn't help but grin about that. "How are you getting along?" she asked, glancing at his parchment.

Cormac's Defence Against the Dark Arts essay was severely lacking. If he had been totally honest with her, he'd been too distracted by watching her to write properly. It didn't matter though, because predictably Hermione had taken the essay and annotated everything that he'd written.

"Just change those few things and you'll get a much higher mark," she had ordered.

Her few changes had amounted to him totally rewriting the whole essay.

What Hermione loved most was how Cormac asked her about the changes she made. Harry had always just blindly agreed to her suggestions. There was someone else too, although Hermione couldn't remember their name, who had always just blindly copied her work. Cormac, however, always asked her to explain her suggestions. She suspected that for the most part it was an arrogant defensive of his work. Yet the result was that Cormac didn't simply learn what was correct, but why. And Hermione loved that he questioned her because she loved to answer questions.

With both sets of work finally complete Hermione had allowed him to walk her back to Gryffindor tower. It seemed like a lifetime that they'd been together, simply enjoying one another's company. In reality it had only been a matter of a few hours.

He had stopped her just before they reached the common room, around the corner and out of sight of the Fat Lady. Slowly he had bent and kissed her lips. A thrill ran through her at his touch, a sensation like electricity buzzed beneath his fingers where he held her shoulders.

When he pulled back she felt his distance. Standing there, right beside him, she felt so far away. Inches seemed to become miles. She looked deep into his eyes, and wondered if he felt the distance too.

Cormac's voice broke through her thoughts. "I want to tell you something, Hermione. No, that's wrong. I need to tell you something."

"Then tell me." Hermione didn't understand what he could possibly say that would worry him so much. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to ruin this," he gestured between the two of them. "Tonight was lovely. You're lovely." He pulled her close, and she smiled.

"What exactly is this?" asked Hermione seriously, after a moment's silence. She thought about the dinner that they'd shared, and the kisses. "Am I your girlfriend now?"

Cormac smiled wistfully. "Do you want to be?"

She thought about it for a moment. "I would… I think."

A shadow crossed Cormac's face, but he laughed anyway. "I'll take that as a yes, but you may reserve the right to change your mind about it later."

Hermione felt suddenly nervous. She'd never had a boyfriend before, and she'd never expected that she'd end up dating Cormac. She'd always thought that she'd end up with… with…

"Is that what you wanted to ask me?" asked Hermione. "Have I really been so horrible that you thought that asking me out would destroy what we have?"

"No, I'm just so unworthy of you. You make me nervous." He lovingly ruffled her hair. "Actually… I wanted to say something else. Hermione, what would you say if I told you that I thought I loved you."

The tremor in his voice told Hermione just how nervous Cormac was. He was watching her fearfully, and she couldn't look him in the eye. He loved her. He really loved her. She forced a laugh. "I'd say you'd lost your mind," she joked, tapping the side of his head. "Didn't you once tell me that you could get a prettier girlfriend?"

He smirked. "Of all my words, you remember those ones?"

"Those and a few others." Her smirk now matched his. "Thank you, Cormac. I think that I might be starting to love you too."

* * *

Kurt looked up from his magazine when somebody came into the room whistling. It was Cormac, and he'd never looked so happy.

"Marianne finally took you back then?" he asked.

Casually, Cormac removed a shoe, and threw it at Kurt's head. Kurt ducked. "You still haven't come to your senses then?"

"I still haven't come to my senses," agreed Cormac, as he began to change for bed. "And I don't think I ever will."

Kurt sat up. "How did it go?"

Cormac simply grinned.

"How far did you two go?" demanded Kurt, discarding his magazine.

This time Cormac pulled a face. "Get your mind out of the gutter. We only kissed. I told her I loved her."

"It's too soon for that, man!" Kurt looked mortified. "Don't you have any sense of timing?"

"Apparently I do," he bragged. Dressed for bed, he climbed under his covers. "She said she loved me too."

For some reason this upset Kurt even more. "And all you got was a kiss?"

This time Cormac threw his pillow, and it didn't miss. "If you talk about Hermione like that again I'll throw something more damaging," he promised.

"You've gone soft," said Kurt, holding his own pillow up for defence. "You'll be planning to settle down and have kids next."

As he closed the curtains around his bed one thought hovered in the front of Cormac's mind. _I hope so._

* * *

"Can anybody tell me the name of this flowering plant?" asked Professor Sprout, addressing the sixth year Herbology class with her usual enthusiastic smile. "No one knows? Miss Granger, how about you?"

It couldn't be said that Hermione hadn't been paying attention: she had heard every word of Professor Sprout's question. It couldn't be said that she was too tired to think straight: she was wide awake, and had been all day. She knew that she'd read the Herbology text book with this very plant in it just the night before. She should know this answer.

"I'm sorry, Professor; I don't know," she admitted, looking horrified.

Any other member of the class would have lost house points for not doing the required reading, but Professor Sprout was so shocked that Hermione hadn't been able to answer that she simply forgot to remove the points. "Oh well… that's… Mr Longbottom, do you know?"

Hermione looked down at the work bench in front of her in mortification. The bench was filthy, with soil and compost scattered across in, and plant pots holding all manner of weird and wonderful plants lined up down the middle.

Only moments ago Hermione was sure that she'd done the reading for this class. She tried to picture the page in her mind, so see the illustration of the flowers and stems. She knew there would be a caption, and each part of the plant would be labelled with its properties. Yet the more she tried to conjure the image to mind the more it slipped away from her. It was like trying to hold water in her hands.

"Are you okay, Hermione?" Harry asked concernedly was they left the greenhouse after Herbology.

"I'm fine Harry," she lied.

He didn't buy it. "Hermione you didn't raise your hand in any class this morning. Are you sick?"

Hermione shook her head. "I think I'm probably just distracted, that's all."

Harry slowed to a stop, and Hermione stopped too. He let the rest of the class pass them before continuing his interrogation. "Where were you at dinner last night Hermione?"

She shuffled her feet nervously. "I wasn't hungry," she mumbled.

"I don't believe you."

Harry's blunt reply took Hermione aback. She hadn't meant to lie to him, but somewhere down the line she'd decided that not telling him about Cormac was a good idea. But _why_? Wasn't Cormac in love with her? Wasn't she starting to have feelings for him too? Weren't they technically dating now? Wouldn't it be a good thing if Harry knew all about their relationship?

"I was with Cormac," she said simply.

Much to her surprise Harry looked like she'd just said something obscene. "You're unbelievable Hermione!"

"It's the truth," she replied firmly. "We had a picnic in the north tower. It was a really lovely evening."

He still looked disgusted. "How could you be so petty? I thought you were better than that. You promised me that you would be better than that!"

Harry's words hurt. Hermione didn't understand why he was so upset. Cormac had simply been wonderful to her; he'd treated her like she was somebody special. How could Harry have the nerve to be so rude?

"How can I be better than Cormac?" she almost spat. "He loves me Harry, which is more than anyone else ever did. He's a sweet, kind, caring man. I don't know if I'm in love yet, but this is the first time I've ever felt like this."

Taken aback by her forcefulness Harry replied, "But what about Ron?"

More than anything it was Hermione's blank expression that surprised him. "Who?"


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Who?"

Harry shook his head at her, trying to shrug off the feeling that something was very, very wrong. "That's not very funny Hermione."

She was still looking very annoyed, and more than a little confused. "It wasn't meant to be. Why do you have a problem with Cormac, Harry?"

Her plea was so heart felt that Harry felt a little ashamed of himself. He didn't want to ruin Hermione's happiness; but he knew that she had only chosen Cormac as to annoy Ron, and he didn't want to see her get hurt by falling for someone so different to herself. "He's not like you, Hermione. He doesn't like books, or grades. He likes Quidditch. Also, he seems a little…rough."

Much to his surprise Hermione burst out laughing. "There's more to a person that grades, Harry. Besides, would you be complaining if I dated Neville?"

"That's a really unfair question," he retaliated. "And I wouldn't complain, but I'd want to know why." He took a deep breath and rearranged his thoughts, trying to calm the conversation down so that he wouldn't upset Hermione further. "Why do you want to be Cormac's girlfriend, Hermione?"

Hermione answered with an almost practiced ease. She knew the answer so well because she had thought about, analysed and studied the question so long for herself, before coming to a conclusion. "He just listens to me. He wants to come to the library with me, or walk around the grounds with me, and just talk, or listen, or sometimes say nothing at all." Involuntarily Hermione smiled. "No one has ever done that for me before, Harry." Her gentle smile became a mischievous grin. "And I don't really mind that he likes Quidditch. I put up with you, don't I? How is this all that different really?"

Slowly, Harry shook his head. "He must have an ulterior motive," he insisted.

Angrily Hermione crossed her arms. "It's not so impossible for someone to like me as I am, you know. It's been known to happen before."

Harry's expression softened. "I'm sorry Hermione; I do want you to be happy, really. I'm just concerned that…" he looked unsure of himself, and reluctant to continue.

"Concerned that what?"

"…that you're jumping into this relationship to get over Ron. That this is simply a method of distraction, and that you'll end up hurting yourself more."

Hermione blinked several times, and again the look of utter confusion crossed her face. "Who? I don't know anybody called Ron."

Much to her surprise, Harry looked incredibly angry. "Very mature, Hermione," he growled.

Still she just looked confused. "I don't know anyone called Ron," she repeated adamantly.

"Of course you do!" he yelled, and some of their friends further up the path looked around to see what was happening. "He's been your best friend since we were eleven, we've done everything together. You're just being stupidly childish to try to make him jealous because he started dating another girl when you wanted him to go out with you."

Amazingly, Hermione burst out laughing. "Oh very funny, Harry! I think I'd remember something like that." She grinned at him. "I have to go, Cormac and I both have a free period now and we were going to study together for a while."

Without looking back Hermione half ran, half skipped back to the castle.

* * *

Ginny slipped into the seat beside Harry at dinner that evening. "Why are you sat on you own?" she asked him: it was unusual for Harry to eat without either Ron or Hermione.

In response Harry nodded towards Ron and Lavender, who were sat just a little further down the long table. With no shame, Lavender was draped all over the red-head, and they frequently exchanged kisses that were always slightly too long to be classed as "quick pecks".

"Ergh," said Ginny, voicing Harry's thoughts on the subject. "Well where's Hermione? She can't be in the library again; this is the second night she's missed dinner, she'll starve!"

Shaking his head, Harry waved his fork in the opposite direction. "She's over there."

Hermione was almost unrecognisable as the girl she had been just two weeks earlier. The smile on her face was one of genuine mirth; it didn't just curl her mouth at the corners, but it lit up her eyes and made her whole face glow. Only last week Hermione's brightest smile had been a weak grimace met with cold, sad eyes.

"Is she with Cormac McLaggen?" asked Ginny, eyes widening.

"Yep," responded Harry solemnly. "They went to the library after class and now they're eating dinner together."

Cormac and Hermione were sat opposite each other. They were engaged in some lively discussion, and frequently Hermione would smile widely at something he said. Cormac had a constant grin spread across his face, and he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her.

"That's just wrong," intoned Ginny in disbelief. "She has gone much too far this time. I know that I don't really like McLaggen, but it's not really fair for her to lead him on like that."

Harry had long since abandoned his food to observe the couple. Ginny hadn't even started eating. "You know what though, Ginny? I don't think she _is _leading him on."

Nervously, Ginny laughed. "You can't mean to tell me that she seriously likes him?"

Surreptitiously he lowered his voice to a whisper. "I'm not sure. When she talks about him her eyes light up, and she seems adamant whenever I ask her that she is serious. But…" Harry felt incredibly uneasy, and couldn't help remembering the feeling of uncertainty that had washed over him when talking to Hermione earlier. "…she claims that she doesn't remember Ron."

"What?" Ginny looked baffled.

"I thought she was just acting childishly at first, but it just seemed so unlike her. I think that maybe there's something darker at work."

Ginny gently tapped his forehead, just above his scar. "You and your constant thoughts of dark magic! This is love, not battle. She'll be fine."

"I hope you're right," said Harry.

* * *

After eating dinner together the young couple had split up so that Hermione could return to her dorm to collect the library books she was due to return. After picking up the huge pile of old tomes she found Cormac leaning against the wall just outside the library, waiting for her. She simply grinned at him in greeting.

"About time!" he announced. "What kept you?"

Placing the heavy books on the floor to give her arms a break, Hermione frowned. "I've just been pondering something that Harry said earlier. He's acting really strange."

"Strange how?" asked Cormac curiously.

Hermione looked genuinely troubled by whatever Harry had said. "He confronted me about us, which didn't really surprise me, because he's the sort to be over protective of his friends."

"But?" Cormac prompted.

"It's just…it was almost like he were talking in riddles. He said that he thought I was only spending time with you to make someone jealous." Much to Hermione's surprise Cormac's face fell. Realising what she'd said, she was quick to reassure him. "Don't worry, I have no one to make jealous! This is only about you and me, there's nobody else involved!" She grinned at him reassuringly. "I probably should just ignore him. I'm getting a headache just thinking about what he was saying. I should put it out of my mind!"

Despite her nonchalance Cormac couldn't help but feel that something was terribly wrong. Hermione seemed too cheerful to be genuine. He didn't doubt that she wanted to believe her words, but he thought that there might be something more to them.

Cormac seemed torn. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a frustrated sigh. "Not even Weasley?" he asked quietly. He looked down at his feet, unwilling to look her in the eye as he waited for a response. But an odd choking noise made him look up so quickly that he felt a crick in his neck. "Hermione... are you okay?"

A sharp pain had shot through Hermione's head, and was followed by a strong, pounding ache. "My head…it hurts." She clutched at her head, but the pain only grew stronger. Soon she was clawing at her face.

Hurriedly he grabbed both of her wrists, but she was flailing and scratching so much that she drew blood from his hands. "Stop it. Hermione, stop!" She didn't seem to hear his words at all; it was like she was possessed.

"It hurts," she moaned pitifully, and her small, desperate voice was in direct contradiction to her flailing limbs.

The commotion had attracted to attention of the librarian, who had come to find the naughty, noisy children to tell them to be quiet. She stood in the doorway, her mouth open, watching the scene. "Help me, please?" begged Cormac when he spotted her. She seemed not to hear him, and simply stood staring as Hermione's fit continued.

Then suddenly, without warning, Hermione collapsed. Clumsily Cormac caught her limp body in his arms. The bleeding scratches on his hands were slowly staining her robes, but he barely noticed the pain, so worried was he about the girl in his arms.

Cormac's panic didn't fade with the fitting. More scared than before, Cormac simply yelled at the librarian. "Do something!"

The librarian scuttled away, presumably to get help. Cormac laid Hermione down on the floor tenderly. He gently pushed her wild hair away from her face, and the blood from his palms left a smear across her face. When he touched her skin he found that she was dripping with sweat, yet she was freezing cold.

"Please wake up Hermione," he whispered desperately over and over. "Please wake up."

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Yes, I'm an evil, evil person leaving the ending so!  
Sorry updates are slow. As always, university work is driving me insane! I'll write whenever I can!


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Madame Pomfery had allowed Cormac to follow them to the hospital wing. She had used her wand to conjure a stretcher, and made it hover ahead of them, carrying Hermione, as they rushed towards the hospital wing. On the way she had quizzed him thoroughly. He told her everything that he knew, but it was clear from the look of her face that nothing he said had led the matron to a better understanding of Hermione's condition.

"Wait here!" she had barked at the entrance to the hospital wing, and he was left stood in the corridor as the double doors crashed shut in front of him. It was then that he realised that Hermione's condition must be serious, for him to be made to wait outside. With this realisation echoing around his head Cormac found that he simply didn't have the strength to stand any more.

He was crouched on the floor, his head buried against his knees, when Madame Pomfrey came to tell him how Hermione was doing. He'd been sat there for an hour, although to Cormac it felt like he had been there for years. Cormac stood to greet her.

"Miss Granger is still unconscious, Mr McLaggen. I cannot detect what is wrong with her, beyond that it seems to be some kind of curse." All colour drained from Cormac's face, and he was unable to reply. "You're going to have to wait here for Professor Dumbledore," she continued. "He'll want to speak to you himself about what happened."

"Dumbledore?" Cormac managed to ask, and his voice didn't sound like his own.

"He may be able to help me decide what to do next." For the first time she seemed to really look at him. "Would you like a glass of water, Mr McLaggen?"

Not trusting himself to speak, Cormac simply shook his head.

Footsteps echoed down the corridor as Dumbledore approached.

"I got your message, Poppy," he said, in a voice that spoke of gentle concern. Cormac felt that the professor hadn't grasped the true magnitude of the situation. "Where is she?"

This time nobody stopped Cormac from following them into the infirmary.

Hermione lay in a bed halfway down the ward. It was clear that the rest of the school's inhabitants were healthy and whole, as all the other beds were empty. The curtains hadn't been drawn around the bed where Hermione lay, as there was no one there to invade her privacy.

Her hair lay tangled on the pillow around her. Her face was pale and drawn, and an expression of sheer pain graced her sleeping features.

"She awoke about half an hour ago, but she seemed so pained and confused that I thought it best to sedate her." The matron seemed unaware that Cormac had followed her into the room, as she rapidly explained Hermione's condition to the headmaster. "It looks like some sort of curse, Albert, but which one I can't fathom."

Dumbledore rested his hand on her shoulder reassuringly. "Mr McLaggen will help us get to the bottom of it, I'm sure." The elderly wizard turned to him. Despite everything the calm, caring look in the old man's eyes comforted Cormac; in that moment he felt certain that Hermione really would be okay. "Come and have a seat, Mr McLaggen, and tell me exactly what happened."

As Cormac sat down Dumbledore sent the nurse to find Professor McGonagall. "There's nothing more we can do for her Poppy, until we find out what went wrong. Ask McGonagall to search Miss Granger's dorm for anything that may give us a clue to what happened. Please ask her to fetch Miss Granger's friends as well."

Cormac drew his seat close to Hermione's bed and gently took hold of her hand. She felt so cold.

"What happened, Mr McLaggen?"

It took him a few moments to find his voice. "I don't know, sir. One moment she was fine. We were going to study together, and we'd just met outside of the library. She seemed bothered by something, she said it was something that a friend had said."

"Which friend?" interrupted the professor.

"Harry Potter," Cormac replied simply. Dumbledore motioned for him to continue. "She said she had a headache, and then suddenly she just started clawing at her face. I tried to stop her, but when I did she got really aggressive." He looked down at the scratches on his hands.

"Is there anything else, Mr McLaggen?"

Cormac shuffled his feat nervously, and swallowed back his fear. "Yes, Professor; it happened when I mentioned Weasley. It was like his name was some sort of curse."

Looking grave Dumbledore nodded. "Thank you for your honesty, Mr McLaggen. Now I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to wait outside again for now." As he rose to leave the room, Cormac couldn't take his eyes off the unconscious girl in the bed.

"Will she be okay, Professor?"

Dumbledore offered his pupil a reassuring smile. "If my theory is right, Mr McLaggen, I am sure that Miss Granger will be just fine."

* * *

"What is _he_ doing here?"

Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were following Professor McGonagall down the corridor towards Cormac. Harry looked worried, but Weasley looked furious. Professor McGonagall's usual disapproving frown was firmly in place. In her hands she carried a small cardboard shoe box, and Cormac vaguely registered that it must be whatever the teacher had found in Hermione's room.

"Mr McLaggen was with Miss Granger when she collapsed," McGonagall explained briefly. "Wait here please, I need to speak to the headmaster." Taking the box with her, the teacher left the three boys outside, shutting the door behind her.

As soon as she was gone Weasley lost the little control he had previously held over his temper. He started towards Cormac, fists raised, but his best friend hurriedly grabbed the back of his robes. "What did you do to Hermione?" the redhead growled.

Shock and anger gripped Cormac as he looked into the eyes of the younger boy. Who was he, to stand before Cormac with such accusations when he had been ignoring and insulting Hermione for months, if not years? Ron had hurt Hermione deeply, and his effect on her life had hung like a great shadow over the relationship that she had tried to build with Cormac. It felt to Cormac like Ron had dogged his steps and tried to doom his relationship long before Hermione had come into his life. "What did you just ask me?" Cormac whispered quietly. He restrained himself, barely, knowing that Hermione wouldn't want him to fight over her, but he clenched his fists at his sides.

"It's a good question, McLaggen," said Harry in a much calmer voice, although the hand that wasn't restraining his best friend held his wand. "You were there when she was attacked. If it wasn't you who caused it why didn't you prevent it?"

Cormac stared at him aghast. "She wasn't attacked," he tried to explain. "She collapsed. We were talking, about _him_." Angrily Cormac pointed at Ron. "When I mentioned his name she started fitting, and then she…" Cormac's voice broke off.

Slowly Harry put his wand back in his pocket. With his free hand he pushed his messy hair out of his eyes. "That makes a lot of sense. I wonder if someone cursed her to react to Ron's name. She didn't seem to know him when I spoke to her. I thought that she was just pretending but…"

"Wait," interrupted Ron, his face now a vibrant red that matched his hair, "are you blaming _me_ for Hermione being cursed?"

"How could we?" said Harry, and there was a hint of bitterness in his voice. "You haven't been near her in months."

The redhead's face turned a shade to match his hair. Before Weasley could come up with a suitable response to his friend's remark the doors to the hospital wing were flung open to reveal Professor McGonagall. "You can come in now," she invited, standing back to let them pass.

On the bed next to Hermione's the contents of the cardboard box had been emptied. Small vials of swirling silver liquid were scattered across the bed, glittering like jewels against the crisp white linen.

"Sir, are those memories?" asked Potter curiously on Cormac's right.

"Indeed they are, Harry," replied Dumbledore softly. "In fact they are Miss Granger's memories. She was keeping them stored in a cardboard box under her bed."

"Blimey, that's the strangest thing since she had that time turner!" said Weasley bluntly. "What would she do that for?"

It was with dread that it slowly dawned upon Cormac what Hermione must have done. He didn't believe that it could be possible, but Hermione was so intelligent that she could make it work…almost. She'd made herself ill trying to forget about Weasley. It was only because of this spell, this memory charm that she had ever taken any interest in him at all. He looked away from the vials to watch Hermione. All his hopes were dashed. Feeling stupid for ever believing that she would love him back, Cormac kept quiet about his revelation.

Harry had come to the same conclusion, however, and he was happy to voice his thought aloud. "She removed all her memories of you, Ron."

Weasley looked aghast. "WHAT? _Why_?" he asked stupidly.

It was Dumbledore who patted his student's shoulder with a reassuring hand. "The heart of a teenage girl is a confusing thing, Mr Weasley. I think the best way to find out the answer to that particular question would be to ask her."

"Will she be okay Professor?" Harry asked, daring to utter the words no one else could.

The old wizard smiled at the boys reassuringly. "Once I put all the memories back she should be back to her old self. By this time tomorrow she should be able to have visitors. She'll have a headache for her troubles, but the damage shouldn't last."

With the headmaster's reassuring words ringing in their ears they were shooed from the hospital wing. The two younger boys began to talk in secretive whispers, but Cormac's head was too full of thoughts to try to decipher what they were saying to one another, because with every step he took he couldn't help but come more resolutely to the conclusion that Hermione had never really cared about him, and never really would.

If it had taken a memory charm for Hermione just to want to spend time with him, there really was no hope for this relationship. Cormac was sure that once she woke up she wouldn't want to see him ever again, not after she remembered just how in love she was with Weasley.

"Oi, McLaggen!" the redhead shouted to him once he reached the portrait hole. Cormac hadn't realised how far his steps had fallen behind theirs whilst he was musing; he rushed to catch up. "Sorry for accusing you of hurting Hermione earlier," Ron said in all seriousness. "And thank you so much for taking her to the hospital wing; if you hadn't been there she could be a lot worse off by now."

"It's no problem," Cormac muttered. He didn't feel that it was his place to correct Weasley's obvious misconception that he had just happened upon Hermione, and Potter didn't seem to want to either. Not tonight.

"Well, see you around then." With a hearty shake of his hand Weasley vanished inside the common room, and Cormac was left alone in the empty corridor to wallow.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**  
Yet again, my apologies for the delay in updating. Exam season I feel is a valid excuse. Thank you all so much for your kind reviews and words of encouragement!


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Hermione knew that she was asleep, though not how or why. She was surrounded by thoughts that urged for her attention and observation; memories, mostly. She pushed sluggishly through those memories that crowded her head. Ron's face was everywhere, and that made her smile, because she felt like she hadn't seen her friend in the longest time. Despite the happiness the memories brought her she hurriedly and hastily pushed through them. The one whom she was searching for wasn't in these early memories, and she needed to find him.

She remembered bursting into the train compartment that September afternoon. It was the first time that she had ever caught a glimpse of his red hair and freckles, and though she liked the way his nose wrinkled when he smiled she knew that she was looking for someone else. Hastily she moved forwards, leaving that little freckled boy behind.

* * *

She was hiding in the bathroom, with the stall door locked behind her. She had cried until she had no more tears left to cry. When Hermione had first discovered that she was a witch she had thought she had finally found her freedom. In the muggle world she had been odd, overlooked and bullied; at last she thought she'd have some friends. Yet here too she was teased and taunted, and she couldn't run to the safe arms of her mother for comfort. She hated that boy Ron Weasley.

Then, suddenly, in a great whirl of noise, fear and with an atrocious smell came the troll, so huge and hulking. She was alone and weak, her magic and calm logic having long deserted her. She began to scream.

Ron Weasley was there in an instant, with Harry Potter by his side. Valiantly they fought to rescue her from the troll, and Ron looked so apologetic that in that moment she couldn't help to forgive him. It had been as though they were destined to be friends, whether they wanted it or not.

* * *

His arms were strong, his smile bright and his words sweet. The Bulgarian Seeker swept her across the dance floor in his arms, and she felt like a princess. Yet even in that moment, in a beautiful blue dress, watched so closely by a lovely kind young man, she couldn't help but think of someone else.

As thoughts of Ron Weasley raced around her mind she looked up across the room and saw him sat to one side. His date was forgotten, and he was glaring jealously in her direction. She wondered if he was jealous of her because she was dancing with his hero, but she dared to hope that he was jealous of Viktor instead. Wouldn't it simply be wonderful if Ron just wanted to dance with her?

Her hoping was in vain. The jealous rage that Ron had worked himself into had made him nothing but unreasonable. He had ruined her special evening. By the time she made her way up to bed she no longer felt like a princess; she was simply Hermione again, the girl that nobody would ever want.

* * *

In that moment of Ron's victory Hermione rejoiced. Many a time she had celebrated with Harry and Ron their victories over great evil, but that had only ever brought a feeling of relief, not elation. The simple victory of having her friends win a Quidditch match made her spirit soar like nothing else.

As she watched one of her dearest friends being lifted into the air by his teammates Hermione's heart beat faster. He beamed, he laughed, and she knew when she looked at the smile on his face that she loved him, and she had for a very long time. Tonight in the whirlwind of simple joy and excitement she would tell him, when she first got a moment. In a moment as happy and wonderful as this it didn't even begin to cross her mind that Ron would do anything but love her back. He had to.

Yet as Hermione watched, holding her breath for the perfect moment, Lavender Brown pushed through the crowd. The blonde girl reached Ron and threw herself at him, kissing his full on the mouth. In shock Hermione waited, praying silently that Ron would push her away. After a brief moment of shock Ron reached out and pulled Lavender closer.

The common room erupted in cheers around her, as Hermione's tears began to fall.

* * *

It was while she was in a fit of anger and hatred and jealousy that he found her in the library, the tall boy with the fair hair. She'd partly wanted someone to take out her frustration on, but mostly she had wanted to make Ron jealous. She'd flirted and lied until Cormac was infatuated. The whole time she'd seen him as a way to win Ron back from Lavender. She'd never seen him as a person…

Until Cormac was waiting for her on Christmas morning; Cormac was insisting that she listen to him. Cormac told her she was beautiful, and held her hand so patiently as they walked through the corridors. Cormac sat with her in the library for hours on end. He never once gave up on her.

Cormac had loved her as Hermione had never been loved.

So she had devised a dangerous plan to make herself love him back. She knew that love potions never brought happiness, and enchantments wore off, but if she forgot about Ron then she would surely love Cormac. He had been so wonderful towards her after all.

Sure enough, as the pain of Ron's betrayal faded Cormac's smile had shone brightly throughout Hermione's life. She had begun to feel happiness again, and she had allowed herself to fall in love.

The memories of that care overwhelmed her, and Hermione knew she couldn't rest in her lost hopes and dreams any longer. Knowing that she was asleep, she knew now that she must wake up and face the present that these memories led to. Slowly, and with great difficulty, she forced open her eyes.

* * *

Once again Cormac lay on his bed in complete despair. He hadn't even paused to draw the curtains. He was grateful that all of his roommates were at dinner, because he simply couldn't face anybody right now.

He was trying very hard not to think about Hermione, but fear simply crowded into his brain. Despite the headmaster's reassurance Cormac just wouldn't believe that she was okay until he saw her for himself. Her collapse had terrified him. He longed to see her whole and well.

Yet mixed with his worry for her was a deep sense of pain, regret and responsibility. He hated himself for letting Hermione do this to herself. He should have noticed that she had changed.

_You did notice_ jeered a voice from deep within him. _You saw how she changed, and how she started to love you. You noticed that she'd forgotten Weasley, but you liked it, and so you let her get worse. Maybe it's all your fault…_

Maybe it was his fault. Hermione had been hurting and broken; her heart in pieces after the boy that she loved left her behind. Cormac hadn't even considered what Hermione was feeling, not beyond how it might benefit him. He'd been nice to her because otherwise she'd leave him; he'd been patient for fear that he'd lose her if he moved too fast. The whole motivation for the way Cormac had acted had been what it would, ultimately, make him happy. Hermione's wellbeing had simply taken a backseat.

Cormac couldn't remember the last time he'd cried. He simply wasn't that sort of person. He'd always been a practical, straightforward, problem solving sort of person. Getting involved with emotions just wasn't something he did. He thought of Hermione that night: of all that he had almost had within his reach; of what, in the name of selfishness he had sacrificed. The thought of the girl he loved lying broken and weak was too much; he couldn't hold the tears back. Worry and remorse overwhelmed him. Whispering a spell to close the curtains around his bed, he curled up in a ball and cried himself to sleep.

* * *

Harry looked up from his homework when he sensed a disturbance. Ron was snoring quietly in the seat next to Harry's. Both of them were waiting by Hermione's bed. A quick glance around the room told him that, besides the three of them, the hospital wing was completely deserted. Searching for the source of the disturbance he glanced down at Hermione, and saw her stir.

"Ron, wake up," he urged the red head. "Hermione's eyes are open."

Ron awoke with a snort, and glanced around confusedly. In the moment it took to remember where he was Hermione was already struggling to sit up. Harry helped her, gently positioning the pillow to support her back. "How're you feeling?" he asked his friend concernedly. "We've been really worried!"

"I'm tired," she admitted, and found that her voice was rather croaky.

"How does your head feel?" chimed Ron. "Madame Pomfery said that it might hurt."

For a moment Hermione couldn't reply. She hadn't expected to speak to Ron ever again. She had become so convinced that he would never care for her, but here he was, his face betraying his concern. "It's not sore," she replied. "Although it does feel very delicate. What happened?"

Nervously Ron and Harry exchanged a glance. "You collapsed," Harry said carefully. "A spell went wrong." Ron looked very pale. After a moment of silently watching her friends she realised that they would never bring up the subject of her memories. Either she brought it up first, or this would hang over their heads forever, a silent demon that would eat through their friendship. She braced herself for their reaction.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't think it would go wrong."

Ron looked furious. "Didn't you learn anything from what went wrong with the Polyjuice Potion? You can't mess about with dark magic and expect it to go well!"

"Will I be okay?" she enquired hesitantly.

Ron sighed. "You should be fine. But if one of those vials had smashed, or if you'd gone just a little longer…Hermione, how could you be so stupid?"

Harry was stood between his two friends and he felt decidedly out of place. He took his seat and proceeded to hide behind his homework, although any observant person would have noticed that he was holding it upside down.

"I'm sorry," Hermione repeated. "It just hurt."

"What did?" Ron looked merely looked confused.

Ron's sincere question knocked Hermione off-guard. For all this time she had assumed that he must know how she felt; now it was clear that he didn't. She turned red with embarrassment, as she managed to utter the words, "It hurt to be in love with you."

Ron's jaw quite literally dropped. "You can't be in love with me," he protested. "I'm dating Lavender!"

Weakly she smiled at him. "That's one of the reasons it hurt, Ron."

He shuffled his feet awkwardly. "Does it still hurt now?"

Hermione looked away from him. She hadn't noticed until now, but the suffocating sense of loss she had felt before hadn't returned with her memories. Her heart still ached, slightly, like a long healed wound, when she thought about Ron and Lavender. The pain wasn't fresh anymore though.

"Not so much."

Ron looked relieved. "I'm sorry too, Hermione. Can we still be friends?"

She grinned. "Nothing would delight me more. I've missed you."

Harry set aside his homework. "You said that Lavender was one of the reasons. Why else did it hurt?" he asked.

Embarrassment caused Hermione to turn an even brighter shade of red than before. "Please don't be mad, Harry," she implored, "but someone else deserves to hear that part of the story before you."

Despite Hermione's plea anger flashed across Harry's face. Ron looked confused again. "Who?"

Nervous and hesitant, Hermione replied very quietly. "Cormac. Cormac McLaggen."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Next chapter will probably be a little while, as I'm going travelling for a month! As always updates will happen as soon as possible. Thank you all for your continued support.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Cormac had been sat in the library since class finished, but he hadn't opened a single book yet. His parchment and quills were still in his book bag. In fact Cormac's desk was empty. He was sat quietly, numbly, staring into space.

It had been a hard day for Cormac. Hermione's absence from breakfast had rattled him more than he would have thought possible. He'd been unable to eat anything, knowing that she was probably still unconscious in the hospital wing. Four hours of class had been sat through on an empty stomach, and lunch had been skipped too.

Right now he should be in the dining room eating dinner. Yet despite his self-induced starvation Cormac still didn't feel in the least bit hungry. He was avoiding the dorm, because telling Kurt what had happened to Hermione would bring on a barrage of unhelpful 'advice'.

Instead habit had drawn him to the library, because it had become a safe sanctuary in the time he had known Hermione. It was a secluded, quiet space where he could always find the person he loved.

Of course, today she was missing, and that only did more to fuel his sorrow.

Cormac could no longer think or act properly; because now he knew that Hermione didn't love him. She never had, and never would.

Yet his distress at finally coming to this conclusion was mixed with the pain of knowing that Hermione was sick. She was maybe even dying, and it was on some level his fault.

He'd spent much of his day debating as to whether or not he should just go and see how she was. He could easily pop into the hospital wing between classes, with a cheery hello, to ask how she was doing. It was only knowing that he would find nothing good there that kept him from doing just that. If Hermione was still unconscious he would only be upset further; if Hermione was awake all he'd hear was why she didn't love him. Cormac knew that he couldn't handle either situation right now.

Eventually the librarian came to kick Cormac out of the library and order him back to the common room. He went slowly, even though he knew there would be trouble if he broke curfew.

By the time he reached the portrait hole Cormac had already decided that trying to sleep that night would be pointless. The look on his face scared a bunch of first years into retreat as he approached the favourable chairs by the fire. Taking a place in a comfy armchair, he stared moodily into the fire, contemplating how life went so wrong so fast.

He wasn't contemplating long, however, because he was disturbed by two sixth years rushing into the common room through the portrait hole.

"He has to be back in his dorm by now, it's almost curfew!" said Weasley to Potter, as they crossed the common room.

"I'm not so sure, Ron. His friend said he'd been hiding all day…" Potter's words trailed away as his eyes fixed on Cormac. "McLaggen, there you are," he said.

"Told you," muttered Weasley.

Potter ignored his best friend. "We've been looking everywhere for you."

Cormac pondered this for a moment, and then reached into his pocket to grip his wand. He was sure that Potter and Weasley had come to the inevitable conclusion that it was his fault that Hermione was unwell. Maybe she had died, and they'd come to take their revenge.

_Maybe it's for the best if they defeat me,_ he thought to himself bitterly. _If she's died because of me, I'm not sure I'd ever be able to live with myself._

"Hermione asked us to fetch you," explained Weasley, looking exasperated. "It took us most of the day to find you, so we'd appreciate it if you came quickly."

Relief flooded Cormac's body, and he released a breath he didn't know he had been holding. It was incredibly liberating to find out that Hermione was well enough to ask anything.

Cormac stood awkwardly as Potter and Weasley had a quick whispered discussion about something. "Up to you mate," ended Weasley, with a shrug. "I don't think he'll tell though, and Hermione trusts him."

After beckoning for Cormac to follow him, Potter climbed back through the portrait hole. Cormac did as indicated, and Weasley followed.

Outside in the corridor Potter looked around nervously. "Hermione insisted that I use this if I have to. I'm not sure she's totally thinking straight but…" Potter trailed off, still glancing from side to side. "If you ever tell anyone about this, I will tell Hermione that you betrayed her trust."

"And we'll hunt you down too," Weasley added for good merit.

Cormac was simply confused, but the two sixth years didn't seem to notice his lack of response. Potter reached into his bag and pulled out a cloak.

It was the strangest cloak that Cormac had ever seen. It shimmered in the light, even when it was still, and it looked almost fluid in nature. He longed to reach out and see what it felt like.

Potter beckoned him forwards. "You have to stand close, it isn't very big," he said impatiently.

Cormac stood befuddled as Potter threw the cloak over the three of them. It took a moment for the answer to come to him.

"This is an invisibility cloak!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah," agreed Potter, "but it doesn't stop people from hearing you, so please be quiet."

Cormac obeyed, and lapsed into a stunned silence as they walked the corridors to the hospital wing. He'd never seen an invisibility cloak before, because they were so rare and ridiculously expensive. He knew he'd love the experience of being under one if only he wasn't so worried and miserable.

When they reached the hospital wing Potter stopped outside the door. "We'll wait here for you. You shouldn't need the cloak inside."

All of a sudden Cormac was overcome with nerves. He didn't want to face Hermione alone, and whilst Potter and Weasley weren't exactly friends, they were company. "You're not coming too?"

Weasley looked bitter. "Hermione was very clear on that point. She wanted to speak to you alone. In fact, she wouldn't even speak to us until she'd spoken to you first." He rolled his eyes, clearly showing how ridiculous he thought this.

"How will she know that you're listening if you're invisible?" inquired Cormac, slipping out from under the cloak.

He sensed, rather than saw, Weasley shrug. "She's Hermione, she just knows these things. Now hurry, I want to speak to her too."

So with a thousand different ideas as to what might await him rushing through his head Cormac pushed open the door.

* * *

Hermione was supposed to be sleeping, but she was too impatient to sleep. As soon as Madame Pomfrey had retired to her office for the night Hermione had ceased pretending to sleep and sat straight up in bed. Harry and Ron had been gone all afternoon, and still they hadn't returned with Cormac. She'd decided he was probably worried, and had gone somewhere to hide from his fears. She knew that he would normally go to a far corner of the grounds, but today it was raining. Instead he was probably in one of the deserted corridors in a higher tower. In the last few weeks she'd discovered that Cormac liked to walk to clear his head.

Whilst listening to the rain patter gently against the windows Hermione closed her eyes and began to sort through her memories again. It was hard, suddenly having a head full of things she'd forgotten. Her head felt very full, and she kept getting things in the wrong order. It was reassuring, though, to find that nothing was missing.

It had been wonderful to wake and find both Harry and Ron at her side again. Ron hadn't really changed at all while he was dating Lavender. He was still the same loveable fool that he'd always been. _It was I who changed_ mused Hermione.

The pain in Hermione's heart had also returned with the memories of Ron, although not to the same extent. Before it had been a sharp, stabbing, suffocating pain; now there only remained a dull ache when she thought of him, like that of a long healed wound.

Yet despite all the newly discovered memories and confused feelings about Ron that she had to sort through, Hermione's thoughts kept returning to Cormac. She wondered if he knew yet that she'd woken up. She would hate for him to be worrying needlessly.

A sudden creak disturbed Hermione's thoughts, and at the sound of a door being softly closed her eyes flew open.

In front of the door, looking very timid, stood Cormac.

Relief flooded his face on seeing her sat up in bed, but when she smiled at him reassuringly the expression of joy in his eyes was replaced with fear.

"Hi," she said simply, forgetting the speech she had prepared to greet him with when she looked at the broken expression on his face. "Come and sit here," she began instead, and indicated the seat that Harry had occupied earlier.

Cormac did as she'd asked hesitantly. He smiled at her nervously. "How're you feeling?" he asked softly.

"I'm feeling good, although my head feels a little…crowded," she smiled at him. Words rarely failed Hermione, but now she didn't know what to say next.

"That's… good." Cormac too stuttered into awkward silence.

After a few moments Hermione decided to begin her explanation. "Did you hear…why I collapsed?"

Cormac seemed incapable of speech, but nodded, his expression clouded.

"I didn't mean for it to go wrong," she whispered.

Hermione's words awoke something within Cormac and brushed away his nerves. Anger, frustration and disappointment bubbled up inside him. The things he had been thinking all day burst out of him all at once.

"You meant for it to go how, exactly?" he hissed bitterly. "You meant for me to fall in love with the happy, chirpy shell of a Hermione? You meant to live a lie for the rest of your life? How did you intend this to end?!" Cormac hadn't meant to shout, but by the end of his questioning he was.

Hermione shushed him. "Madame Pomfrey will hear, and you'll be in trouble. Please Cormac, let me explain."

"Gladly," he muttered irately.

"I read about it in a book a long time ago, and it was something Harry told me…it reminded me that memories could be altered, or even removed using magic. I wasn't… I was so hurt and confused that I couldn't think straight. Every time I saw Ron I wanted to burst into tears. It was only just bearable. Then you came along."

Cormac was glaring at her silently, clearly not convinced.

"You were so kind and so sweet and so perfect. You understood me, you comforted me, and you gave me so many chances. I've been horrible to you. Yet…look, you're here. I didn't want to be in love with Ron anymore. I wanted to be in love with you."

Cormac laughed coldly. "So that's why you did it? Remove all the men who are better than me from your memory, and you'll settle for me? That's not being in love, Hermione. That's being in denial."

Tears began to drip down Hermione's face. "I know. And that's why I'm so sorry I made that stupid mistake. But you have to understand Cormac! I didn't do it so that I would fall in love with you. I had already fallen in love with you. I did it to stop the love from hurting so much."

It took a moment for Hermione's words to sink in.

"No," said Cormac, shaking his head disbelievingly. "You weren't affectionate towards me until after you removed your memories. I calculated." He'd spent the whole of his defence against the dark arts lesson working it out. Snape had taken several points away from him for not paying attention.

"Because I was confused. Every time I thought about you I felt guilty for betraying Ron. Every time Ron crossed my mind it tore me up to do that to you. I couldn't even sort my thoughts out, let alone my actions. That's why I decided to get rid of some of my thoughts."

Cormac had calmed down a lot with Hermione's explanation. "How do you find your thoughts now?"

Hermione frowned, searching for the right words. "I still love Ron, but I'm not sure I'm _in_ love with him anymore. It still aches a little to think of him, but nowhere near as strong as it was before."

Gathering all of the courage that had got him into Gryffindor, Cormac asked the question that he had been dreading, "How do you feel about me?"

A slight smile played on Hermione's lips. "You're beautiful," she whispered without hesitation, using the word that he had given so much meaning to, for both of them.

Cormac's eyes softened and his face broke into a grin. "Really?"

"Yes," she grinned back at him, and reached out her hand for his. He squeezed her hand reassuringly, and held on to it tightly. "The way you pretend to have homework so that you can come to the library just to be with me is beautiful. The way you think of wonderful ways to surprise me is beautiful. The way you put others first is beautiful." Now Hermione had started her list she couldn't stop. It was wonderful to tell Cormac how much she loved him, in a way only he would truly understand. "The way you fight for what you want is beautiful. The way you smile is beautiful. You're beautiful, Cormac McLaggen, and I love you."

Before she knew what had happened Cormac had enveloped her in a hug. She clung onto the back of his robes tightly and pulled him closer. "I love you too," he whispered.

As they cuddled that night on the hospital bed, clinging to one another as though the world would end if they let go, Hermione knew that this was a moment that she would never, ever forget.

* * *

The End

* * *

**Author's Note**: Happy endings all around! I may return to this couple in the future for some cute fluffy fics, if I can find the time and inspiration. For now I would like to thank you all for your incredible support and patience. There are still people reading this fic who were here in the beginning…four years ago! The constant reviews, pms and encouragement kept bringing me back for more, and gave me the motivation to keep writing when I could write no more. I've discovered other great Cormac/Hermione writers, and discovered Cormac/Hermione fans who are just great people to chat to! It's been wonderful. Thank you all!


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